Resolutions? More Like Retirement Plan

Since the election I have been very up in the air when it comes to resolutions or five year plans or one year plans.

Mostly it’s because I worry we’ll be going the way of a YA Dystopia novel, in which case I don’t want to lock myself into rigid plans because you never know when you’ll need to join a resistance movement on the sly. I know I know, I’m not a teenager! I won’t be leading the revolution or even the anti revolution. But I could be that kick butt mentor who dies at a poignant time (only to rise from the ashes?) soooooo I have given up on short term plans in favor of one long term retirement plan. Because retirement plans are basically dreams that are semi achievable unless you die young. Right?

So this year, in lieu of new years resolutions I give you: Rachel’s Retirement Plan!

Have you ever seen Big Fish? My plan is basically to become the one eyed town witch of that movie.

The plan is as follows:

Step 1: Locate perfect small town preferably in the South or in New England. Anything midwest seems to far from my goal aesthetic of crazy woman in a run down overgrown house, bog optional.

Step 2: Aquire an old run down, at least on the outside, house. If not already overgrown with plants and ivy, let yard run wild. Maybe get some scary statues for out front, or some sculptures of frightened children.

Step 3: Slap a greenhouse/conservatory onto the house if it is not already equipped for green housery. Nothing says “I make my own potions” like a slapdash glass adjunct.

Step 4: Install heavy woebegone curtains in all front facing windows. All the better to pear around my dear.

Step 5: Fill house with knickknacks.

Step 6: Build reputation as a fortune telling witch by being persnickety while telling the fortunes of any townsfolk you come across.

Step 7: Also ‘curse’ townsfolk for good measure, especially kids who deserve the evil eye.

Step 8: Perpetuate legends about yourself.

Step 9: Look crazy.

Step 10: Don’t turn away those who are brave enough to knock on your door, let them in and tell their fortune and keep them there until night so the other kids think they’ve died. Depending on the kid, let them in on your secret and form a friendship that could someday be turned into a Pulitzer prize winning novel.

It’s a pretty sound, foolproof plan if I do say so myself. Now I just need to live my best life, aka make enough money, to turn this plan into my real future!

So raise a glass to not dying young and drink to retirement plans!

 

 

 

The Most Wonderful Time

So I lost my license a week ago. I’m pretty sure I lost it when I went to see “Spirited Away” on the big screen. I should not have gone to see it, I should not have ventured out of my apartment but darn it, I wanted that once in a lifetime opportunity to see one of my favorite movies on the big screen!

I regret the entire day.

First of all I was very sick last weekend, I’m talking fever dreams where my boss was exorcising my sickness out of me like it was a demon kind of fever dreams. In my dreams I couldn’t breathe and I would wake up gasping. I also had no money to get medicine because I live that paycheck to paycheck life and had not budgeted for post Thanksgiving mucus.

Second of all, it was snowing and the snow was that pretty mix of flakes and slush that turns the sidewalks into frigid puddles. I, therefore, had to find my snow boots costing me precious travel minutes, though I figured they would show previews or something so I had a little extra time. Satisfied that everything would probably be okay I trudged through the snow to the movie theatre sniffling the whole way.

Third of all, I got a nosebleed. Right outside the theatre. I had this nosebleed on and off since the previous Friday, FRIDAY, because the air in my apartment is so dang dry and I didn’t have a humidifier because I live paycheck to paycheck and didn’t think it would be necessary. So I’m bleeding all over the place in the movie theatre bathroom trying to stop the blood flow enough so I can go find my seat and I throw away the mess of tissues in my pockets, which is when I think it happened. I think I threw out my license with these tissues. I don’t know what else could have gone down. It must have gotten mixed up in that bloody mess and been jettisoned into the trash.

Finally I got into the theatre, I was maybe 5 minutes late, the movie was at least 5 minutes in, because the were no previews.

Let’s just say the whole experience made me wish I had rice balls to cry over.

Once in a lifetime.

So this was the beginning of my December, my Christmas season, the most wonderful time of the year.

The good news is I moved on and finished my Christmas shopping, Old Navy is having a killer sale right now.

The bad news is I don’t know how to go about getting a replacement license since I had a NJ one and I now live in IL and I think I need to just get an IL State id, but I need to wait until my next paycheck to do that because I spent my money on Christmas for others….

The other good news is I feel a lot better because I got medicine! Also, life tip: Humidifiers are amazing and everyone should get one. I’m serious.

So basically, as per a previous post, I’ve just continued to be the Pippin of my own life story.

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Sorry for the Silence

So I have been lost in regards to this blog and what I want/need it to be.

For a while it was my public diary.

For a while it was my healthy lifestyle accountability blog.

For a while it was my writing forum/humor blog.

For a long time it has been silent.

It’s been silent because I don’t have a direction for this space (or my life), I don’t have a theme (or career goals), heck I don’t even have a personal five year plan (I do have a kick butt retirement plan though so stay tuned for details)!

My desire to move back east has been thwarted by the city of Chicago which apparently heard me in all my unhappiness and has bombarded me with reasons to stay.

So I’ll be in Chicago indefinitely.

I guess?

I don’t know.

I do know that I have been working on personal writing projects in hopes of figuring out how to successfully submit my work to agents/mangers/publishers and become a published author.

So if anyone reading this has any tips on how to do that I would be forever in your dept.

In the meantime, I am going to revert this blog back to the personal diary form.

I going to write about what I want, when I want, and I am not going to post it to facebook.

Trying to calm all my family and friends down after a sad posts became exhausting, especially when some asked if I was going to self-harm and/or attempt to take my own life.

I guess that’s the real reason for my silence.

I didn’t know how to react to the question “are you thinking of killing yourself?” because, no, no I am not. I just experience rough patches, like everyone does, and was using this blog as a way to process and move on.

So I am going to use this forum for that again. I am going to process and celebrate and attempt to become healthier. I am going to publish short stories, and do more research about PCOS, and generally be Pippin.

But I am not going to post to facebook anymore.

So, if you are on board with this ‘direction’ of the blog, if you enjoy my writing but haven’t wanted to subscribe via email, if you like me and just want to show your support in a minimal way, please subscribe to Allegory of a Studio Apartment.

There should be some kind of button on the side of the page where you can add yourself yo an email update list.

Please add yourself and join me on my silly little journey through life.

At the very least it will be a little bit funny and make you feel better about your own life right?

 

Respawn: The 2 Week Check In or Let’s Get Disciplined…?

So, on September 18 I began my respawn of fitness and overall health. Let’s do an honest check in of how it’s going shall we?

The first week was full of fire! I was focusing on a list of goals and was very good about completing them all for about three days. Wednesday it all went downward as my energy dipped. I never quite recovered my enthusiasm though my public food log was still going pretty well. I had 4 sodas this week.

The second week I misplaced my bullet journal and did not find it for several days and had one of those “forget it I’ll just ignore this week and count next week as week 2 of things” kind of weeks. Not a great decision I know. I’m supposed to not miss 2 in a row of bad decisions and such but for this week we’re gonna call it don’t miss 2 weeks in a row and move forward.

Which brings us to Week 3, the first week of October.

In an effort to not drop off on Wednesday I have bought protein bars so i can eat ‘dinner’ before I leave work instead of eating at 9pm when I get home from work since I think that’s part of the reason my energy dips so badly. Also in an effort to have more energy I’ve been researching/I did some research on bulletproof coffee and bulletproof tea. Apparently it is like a meal replacement drink that provides sustainable energy through science! So I’m gonna try this for 2 weeks and see what happens.

In addition I have made myself signs of encouragement to help me remember certain goals that I have been forgetting by Wednesday they read as follows:

I am disciplined…GO RUN!!!! – taped to my door mirror so I can see it in the morning when I go to the bathroom and want to go back to sleep.

I am disciplined…Posture Challenge! – taped to my tv because it is at standing eye level and I am doing a standing posture challenge.

I am disciplined…Meditate – sitting on my dresser because I ran out of tape.

I am disciplined…Mini Yoga Session – also sitting on my dresser because of the tape situation.

I am disciplined…I don’t drink soda, I don’t NEED soda!!!! – magneted to the fridge so whenever I open it i am reminded that I am disciplined and don’t drink soda.

I decided to start off each reminder with I am disciplined because discipline is a thing I lack. I am a procrastinator, an “I’ll get to it after this show/movie is over”-er, and an “I’ll do it tomorrow”-er; I cannot force myself to be disciplined. I have tried and it has never worked.

So what’s a girl who wants to change her life to do?

Use words to her advantage that’s what.

I have read a couple articles, none of which I can cite here because I don’t remember where I read them (I’m pretty sure Nerdfitness has an article about it) that encouraged the idea of word choice equaling a higher probability of sticking with new habits. Example: turn the phrase “I can’t eat chips” to “I don’t eat chips” and chips turn from the forbidden fruit that you crave almost nonstop to something you are more powerful than because you don’t eat them and you don’t need them! Word choice effects mindset so since I have never won with the “I need to become disciplined” mindset I decided to change the words to “I am disciplined.” Fake it till you make it and you’ll eventually make it right?

We’ll see how this works out at the next 2 week check in.

In the meantime, for accountability I would like to share with you the quests I am working on this week and next week.

ACTIVE QUESTS!!!

M = Mindset Quest

Y = Yoga Quest

N = Nutrition Quest

M- Posture challenge- Stand up straight for 30 seconds 3xs a day for 1 week (I forgot to do this on Sunday so I will have a carry over day)

Y- Mini Yoga Sessions- 1 a day for 1 week

M- Go to bed at 10pm- I need to rethink this one because I can literally never go to bed at 10pm…I’ll let you know what I decide in 2 weeks

M- Meditate- 1x a day for 2 weeks

M- Skywalker Method- Stay away from fast food/trigger foods for 2 weeks

M- Inner Demons- journal about your food for 2 weeks so you can identify your issues and fix them

N- Lvl 1- 2nd week- log all your food

N- Check the label- check the label of everything you eat for 1 week

N- Public food log- 2 weeks, check out my Instagram feed for this one: rsomm25

GOALS:

-I am a person who no longer drinks soda: drink 1 soda less per week until I have had no soda for 4 weeks (consider goal complete after 4 weeks)

Sodas Last Week: 4                                                 Soda Allowance This Week: 3

-I am a person who runs 3xs a week: run 1x a weeks for 2 weeks (CHECK), Run 2xs a weeks for 2 weeks, run 3xs a week until I finish the Zombie 5k App and then move on to the Zombies Run App. (Consider this quest complete after the 5k app is finished)

Also, if you want to stay up to date on all the posts I post please subscribe to my blog! Thank you!!

October Horror Movie Month!!!!!!!

2 Scary 2 Octobery

AKA Scaretober Round 2

Last year I tried to watch 1 scary movie a day during October. I did not succeed so I figured I would try again this year. The Rules are going to be a little different. I am going to mostly be watching tame Horror movies during the week and the night before my day off I will watch a Scary Movie. That way if I am up all night with the frights I can sleep during the day. That works right?

Note that all of these movies are ones that I either own, can watch on Netflix, or can watch on Amazon Prime, aka they are free, aka that’s why my list might be missing some movies that you believe to be classics of October.

Also note that Nightmare Before Christmas is not on this list because it takes place during Christmas making it a Christmas movie. This qualifier has also made Edward Scissorhands, Gremlins, and others into Christmas movies.

So here is the schedule if you want to play along at home. Underline equals scary movie night.

10/1/16 Saturday: Coraline (DVD) this movie creeps me out but I love it so I figured it would be the best choice to kick things off!

10/2/16 Sunday: Carrie (Amazon Prime) “they’re all going to laugh at you” is my mantra.

10/3/16 Monday: Shawn of the Dead (DVD) obviously

10/4/16 Tuesday: Hot Fuzz (DVD) is hilarious

10/5/16 Wednesday: The World’s End (DVD) I know this one is more like a sci fi movie but I need to finish out the trio.

10/6/16 Thursday: The Babadook (Netflix) I don’t know why I am watching this again…

10/7/16 Friday: Maggie (Amazon Prime) Arnold Schwarzenegger and his zombie daughter? Sold. I haven’t seen it yet though so who knows if it is good?

10/8/16 Saturday: Hellraiser (Netflix) I have never seen this one either but I have seen his pictures in pop culture references that I don’t get. I would like to get them.

10/9/16 Sunday: Misery (DVD) I can’t remember if this movie takes place over christmas or if it just takes place in a snowy area. If it does turn out to take place during Christmas this movie will move from Halloween to Christmas movies.

10/10/16 Monday: Alien (DVD) monster movie week begins, is the excuse I am using to watch these three movies.

10/11/16 Tuesday: Aliens (DVD) this is my favorite of the franchise

10/12/16 Wednesday: Alien 3 (DVD) haven’t seen it and this seems like a good time to fix that

10/13/16 Thursday: Cujo (Netflix) I live with dogs, will this movie turn out to be a bad choice?

10/14/16 Friday: Witches of Eastwick (DVD) so good.

10/15/16 Saturday: Rosemary’s Baby (DVD) the scariest part of this film is the Patriarchy.

10/16/16 Sunday: Cloverfield (Amazon Prime) found footage monster movie check!

10/17/16 Monday: Underworld (Netflix) Vampire time-

10/18/16 Tuesday: Interview with a Vampire (Amazon Prime) for three-

10/19/16 Wednesday: The Lost Boys (DVD) excellent days-

10/20/16 Thursday: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Amazon Prime) I haven’t seen this and I’m nervous about it

10/21/16 Friday: Tucker and dale vs Evil (Netflix) a little comedy to fix the frights?

10/22/16 Saturday: A Clockwork Orange (Amazon Prime) This may not be a horror movie but I read the book and the events were horrible so that counts right?

10/23/16 Sunday: A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (Netflix) We now enter crunch week where I watch movies I have not seen and don’t know the scariness levels of but am gonna watch anyway because Halloween is upon us!!

10/24/16 Monday: We Are What We Are (Netflix) What is it about? I don’t know.

10/25/16 Tuesday: The Crow (Netflix) goth queen dreams?

10/26/16 Wednesday: From Dusk Till Dawn (Netflix) ??

10/27/16 Thursday: Honeymoon (Netflix) seems freaky

10/28/16 Friday: Odd Thomas (Netflix) And now for movies that I love

10/29/16 Saturday: The Adams Family (Netflix) classic classic relationship goals

10/30/16 Sunday: Monsters (Netflix) I have not seen this one but it looks fun

10/31/16 Monday: Hocus Pocus (DVD) for obvious reason I will not be lighting any black flame candles tonight.

Let’s get ready to be afraid! Very afraid!

Yum Yum: Nutrition Respawn

That’s right! Now that the Mindset Module is finished it’s time to move on to the Nutrition Module!!!!

This post is not as long as the Mindset Post mostly because it involves fixing my nutrition, a thing I must do slowly or I will fail at it again. The only time I have ever been able to make any changes in my nutrition is when I have tackled each thing that I want to change as a small individual thing. The “one at a time work through.” Plus it usually takes about 2 weeks or more to get through these quests and make the changes stick. So I will periodically be posting about my Nutrition Level Ups and such.

So, let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

In reading over the Nerd Fitness Nutrition Module, several of their key ideas jump out at me as being the most difficult/primary things I should work on while accomplishing my first quest.

  1. Mindful Eating: I’ll be honest I didn’t do this before and moving forward I anticipate only being able to do this about 80% of the time. With mindful eating you are supposed to just eat. No tv, no working at your computer, just eating. Family meals are fine, talking with friends is fine. It’s the other distractions that prevent us from realizing how much we have eaten. The 20% of my time where I will be unable to mindfully eat will be several days at work. There are some busy days where I simply cannot avoid eating at my desk while working on the computer because I am the only office worker in the acupuncture office and some days have become incredibly busy. That being said I am going to do my best to eat every other meal mindfully.
  2. Sugar and Liquid Calories are the Enemy: This one is something I have known for a while and have been working on, heck it’s one of my goals from the Mindset Module so I’ll be working hard on this one!
  3. We Don’t Have Cheat Days: I know there are a lot of schools of thought on cheat days but I agree with Nerd Fitness on this one. Cheat Days imply that you are doing something wrong and that kind of guilt is something that can eat away at me personally. Instead of cheat days and before my backsliding, I gave myself once every week, or once every 2 weeks I can’t remember, to have a grain type breakfast food. I love fancy pastries for breakfast (pancakes, muffins, tarts, cinnamon rolls, bagels) but I know eating them every day is terrible for me so I gave myself permission to enjoy a pastry every once in a while. Right now I need to get back to the level I was at (Level 4) before I let myself eat a fancy pastry once every 2 weeks.

Beyond these key points I will be adjusting my diet back into a Paleo-ish routine starting with breakfast.

However, if I’m being the “Big H,” aka Honest-one of the cornerstones of this blog-I am not going to start cooking a paleo breakfast for myself until next week probably, at least it won’t be consistent until next week because there is construction going on in my apartment this week and everything is covered in a thin layer of white dust and I doubt I will be able to bring myself to cook until I have cleaned all the surfaces. An all day project.

So for now things will be haphazard at best and I will focus on not drinking soda.

But after this week I will start cooking better more Paleo like foods.

In the meantime I will also be restarting the Nerd Fitness Nutrition at Level 1 and, for Level 1, all I have to do is log my food for 2 weeks! So easy with my bullet journal!!!!!

So yeah…for now I am going to take it slow with food, I am going to avoid my Food Addiction by not spending money on fast food per the Inner Demons Quest in the Mindset Module, I am going to reduce my liquid calories per my goal from the Mindset Module, and I am going to track all my food per Level 1 of the Nutrition Module.

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Time to Respawn*

*Get a glass of water and a snack, this is gonna be a long post but I promise to attempt some jokes in it so you don’t get bored/overwhelmed with my weight loss journey respawn.

Since I found out about my grandfather’s cancer I have backslid on my healthy lifestyle in a BIG way so, I am going from failure to failure with no lack of enthusiasm and kicking things back into gear by taking the time to regroup and restart.

This restart is going to have a few components:

  1. I will be posting more on this blog about my weight loss journey. (I hate that phrase but maybe I need to change it to weight loss adventure, yes that sounds much better)
  2. I will be posting more on instagram about my weight loss adventure. I am striving to post daily, it might be more, it might be less, in any event you can follow me by clicking on this link, I think…in any event you can find me by searching rsomm25. I plan on posting nutrition stuff, quest stuff, exercise stuff, and bullet journal stuff. And I know I still owe you all a bullet journal post, I am loving the bullet journal and I do feel like it has helped me become more organized. I just need to use a little more willpower with it which is part of my respawn.
  3. I will be following the Nerd Fitness Academy Quests and such. I had the best results with things when following the Nerd Fitness Academy steps/quests so we are going to start at the very beginning with the Mindset Quests and work forward.

MINDSET!!!!!!!!!

“Because if your mind is not in the right place nothing else will be.” -Rachel Sommons paraphrasing any number of more famous quotes.

First Step: Snap Before Photos, otherwise known as your current self.

I am not excited to be sharing these with you, it is me in my star pants and sports bra and I am less than enthused. BUT I am posting them because I am accepting what I currently look like because this isn’t even my final form. It might be worth noting that I put lipstick on after I took these pics because it made me feel happier to be wearing a fancy color on one of my favorite parts of my body. My lips. See? I do love my body even if it is only certain parts of it right now. That’s almost body positivity right?

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9/18/16 Front
91816_left-side
9/18/16 Left Side
91816_right-side
9/18/16 Right Side
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9/18/16 Back

DID YOU SEE THE EXCITED ENTHUSIASM SMEARED ACROSS MY FACE? No? I looked like a human who is uncomfortable in her skin? Well, I am working on changing that so next month the pictures should be less frowny.

Step 2: Take measurements or Get ready to see how big my boobs are!

Spoiler alert they are huge. I am actually kind of excited to see these numbers change as I eat better and exercise more, I am excited to see these results in conjunction with the pictures. Also to take my weight I bought a scale from Target, weighed myself, and immediately returned that scale. #livethatbrokelife

Weight: 244 lbs

Neck: 16in

Chest: 50 1/2in

Biceps: 14in

Waist: 48in

Hips: 55in

Thigh: 24in

Calf: 16in

Guys my calves are the same thickness as my neck, I’m not sure how I feel about that but it is a true thing sooooo :/

Step 3: The Big Why

So I have a couple parts to my Big Why, they are constantly adapting/changing but there are several things that lie at the core of the Big Why so I’m just going to list them out.

-I want to reverse my PCOS

-I want to be at a place where I am confident enough to walk around a Korean Spa naked. Which really means I want to get my body and my mind to a place where I can walk around naked and not care what anyone else is doing/thinking/seeing.

Okay so there are literally only two parts to my Big Why. Oh well, it doesn’t have to be convoluted, it just has to be true.

Step 4: The Art of Goal Setting

So Nerd Fitness wants 5 goals for this step/quest and while that is all well and good I know myself and I know that smaller equals more likely to happen so we are going to focus on 2 goals until they become habits and then build up another 2 and so on and so forth.

Goal: I am a person that no longer drinks soda.

Action: I will drink 1 less soda per week until I am drinking zero sodas for at least 4 weeks. That’s 4 weeks of no sodas in order to consider this goal completed.

Goal: I am a person who runs 3 times a week.

Action: I will start using the Zombie couch to 5k app first once a week for 2 weeks, then twice a week for 2 weeks, then three times a week for the remainder of the program. If I feel like I can move up to three times a week faster than this plan delineates, I will. After I finish this program I will start the regular Zombie 5k app unless they make the fantasy version available for android in which case I want to try that one.

Step 5: Start Your Epic Quest!

The Epic Quest is kind of like a bucket list for your life. Mine is full of goals that I want to accomplish and I organized them all here. The picture in the corner is one my sister drew for me! So you better like it or we will have words. (Words mean I beat you up! JK you saw my flabby before pictures!)

Step 6: Gimmie the Loot!

So this is about setting up healthy rewards for yourself and I set it up so that every time I accomplish 8 weeks worth of quests, I get to pick something off my loot list. I really love makeup and books so currently my loot list is makeup and books…no one is shocked I know.

Also, I know what you are thinking, “Rach,” you think, “this is a lot of quests.” You are not wrong.

Step 7: Customize your Batcave

I have already set up my batcave so that the healthy choices are more accessible so I consider this done.

Step 8: It’s dangerous to go alone, take friends!

So there is this thing in the world where when you have someone to support you in an endeavor it makes said endeavor easier to stay excited/positive about and you actually do it. I have several people like this, the most important one being my friend who had gastric sleeve surgery and is currently killin the weight loss game. She has her own blog and youtube channel which you should check out because they are wonderful. I do have other wonderful people whose support is essential for me but they don’t have anything for me to ask you to read/watch so, sorry I won’t be saying your names here my other equally as important loved ones, you know who you are!

Step 9: 20 Seconds of Courage

I need to do this quest on my own time, once I have done it I will let you know in a post and possible video!!!

Step 10: What Inspired me?

I made the background of my computer an inspirational Quote from my favorite book, Dune, “I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” It’s kinda long and I choose to sum it up with fear is the mind killer, which is also tattooed on my body.

Step 11: I don’t have time.

This step/quest is all about admitting that you do have time for certain things, they just aren’t a priority. So here are three things I tell myself I don’t have time for/that I know I’m just not making a priority.

Writing is not a priority.

Learning to use the camera I bought a year ago is not a priority.

Creating more content for this blog is not a priority.

Now all I have to do is make these things a priority!

Step 12: Hack your sleep.

Man have I been stuck on this Quest since I started my entire Nerd Fitness journey! This Quest has three parts: 1) keep a sleep journal- done, so easy. 2) Pick a bedtime and go to bed at that time every night for two weeks -HA 3) make 2 changes to your sleep strategy and enact them- HAHA. As you can see 2 and 3 have not happened, each week I start off excited to make them a reality and each week I fail. So we are going to start with going to bed at the same time each night for 2 weeks and once I do that I will move forward. But I am pretty sure most of this will be me laying in bed awake…

Step 13: How not to dress like a slob

I completed this one when I did my Kon Mari Tidy, let us never speak of the most boring adventure I even took…

Step 14: Confidence

There are a bunch of steps to this quest and I am already slowly but surely completing them and I don’t think they have an enormous bearing on my respawn because I just need to keep plugging away at them. They are mostly about smiling and having better posture. Yippie Kai-aye. It’s like social confidence vs the body confidence I am striving for which is why I will be completing these at my own pace.

Step 15: Social Skills

I don’t know that I need to do this one, I am already pretty social and I live in a city where the level of socialness you exude can sometimes have consequences so I will be doing this quest group at my leisure if I feel like it.

At this point I need to take a break because I am getting tired and need to recharge before I do this next step/quest because it is about inner demons.

Step 16: Crush your Inner Demons

This is the constant battle and, as evidenced by my back sliding, one that I am not very well equipped to wage. So we are going to go through the steps from Nerd Fitness and at the very least Identify the demons and forge some gear to defeat them.

Identify:

Okay so, I am addicted to food as a way to comfort myself, I think this is because I don’t know how to self sooth very well? It might be because I feel judged by people and myself when things go poorly. Even though the judgement is all in my mind. Food doesn’t judge and it tastes delicious. And it fills that place inside that often feels empty when bad things happen.

Stay Away Until I am ready to defeat It:

So the first step in defeating my food addiction is avoidance. I have already canceled my Door Dash account and I will now stop bringing money with me to work. Not that I have the money to spend but eliminating the cards being with me should help me not order things. What I mean is, in order to avoid my food addiction I am trying to avoid having the money with which to fuel the addiction. I think I will also try to keep a part of my food journal where I am mindful of my emotional state when eating whatever I am eating.

Make A Strategy to Defeat it:

First I need to spend more time identifying when this food addiction rears it’s ugly head, thus the journaling, and then I need to find ways to not give in to its siren song. I’m not sure how this is going to work so stay tuned as I do more research and stuff.

Step 17: Respawning

This is just an article on restarting which is what we’re doing right now!!!!!

Step 18: Meditation

The Final step!! I know I know this post took forever but this is the last part and then I can move on to Nutrition, which will be another post. This Quest is basically about starting a meditation habit. I’ll let you know how it goes/how helpful I find meditation.

So that is it! Consider the respawn started, we are back on the weight loss adventure wagon! I am also going to re-embrace using this blog as my personal diary/outlet for ideas/place to just say basically whatever I want to say.

It’s WLAT, WEIGHT LOSS ADVENTURE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you aren’t on board all I have to say is…

sailor-moon-deal-with-it-giphy

The images that are not mine were found on gify.